Author: David Westerlund

  • Play Metabolizes Stress

    Play Metabolizes Stress

    It’s cold, windy, and wet outside. Yet here in my Herald building office, it’s toasty with the old radiators pumping out heat.

    As I pondered so many entry points to talk about play and joy… the story of Barbara Tint rose to the surface. I stumbled upon her story during the first week of my business launching in Sept 2018. 

    And her story seems very salient for our times.

    I encourage you to slow down and really take it in.

    She was a professor and practitioner of conflict resolution and had worked in Sri Lanka, Rwanda, Israel/Palestine, and many other places. One day she sat with a her meditation teacher in Sri Lanka and he said to her, “Your energy is very heavy. I’m getting the feeling you’re absorbing the trauma of the people you work with.”

    She continues:
    At this, I began to cry. He was right. My latest projects had been working with refugees of the genocides in East Africa and I had moved from one heartbreaking story of displacement and loss to another. While he saw that the work was creating a psychological burden for me, I could not imagine abandoning it. And I also knew that for my sake and for the sake of the people I worked with, I needed to find a path that would allow me to move forward with more sustainable energy.

    At the same time, I had serendipitously discovered the Applied Improvisation Network (AIN) and, as luck would have it, their next international conference was the following month in my hometown of Portland, Oregon.

    She cautiously signed up for one day and…

    four days later I came out a changed woman. All the heaviness I was carrying was lifted by the spontaneous, joyous, generous, freeing collaborative work and spirit of improvisation and its participants.

    But she wondered – how would she connect improv to her work?

    I initially felt like I had two seemingly disparate realities: the ‘important’, difficult, and heavy world of international conflict and the ‘frivolous’, playful, and joyous world of improv. How could I bring them together? I couldn’t exactly approach genocide survivors or my students with clapping games or word-at-a-time exercises. Or could I? I slowly began to see that these principles and methods provided some of the most transformative and healing potential I had ever experienced. They were anything but frivolous and were useful in working with individuals and community members in conflict as well as those training to be conflict resolvers.

    I remember reading this and feeling chills of aliveness through my body. It was amazing that I was reading this just as I was starting out my business. I have noticed this sustainability question myself and talked with so many leaders that have this ongoing thread of inquiry, and really it’s not ”work-life balance”.. its this wicked question of:

    How do I pursue my work, my vocation, AND have full vitality simultaneously?

    We are coming to the end of the myth that the best work can only be done by busting our ass, working insane hours, ignoring our body’s signals. Alarm bells from our bodies, our co-workers, our earth.. NOT SUSTAINABLE!! 

    Its critical to find a new way forward.

    I, like Barbara, have tasted this “spontaneous, joyous, generous, freeing collaborative work and spirit of improvisation” and it’s transformed my life for the last fourteen years.

    And let me get to the point: we can’t just read about play and improv we must taste it – meaning – participate in it.

    To that end, I’ve created two opportunities for you to jump in and taste it for yourself:

    1. Fri, Feb 21 9-9:20am 20-min Virtual Play Break – FREE Event I’m facilitating. 

      2. Fri, March 21 9-10:30am 90-min ”Catalyzing Connection, Joy, and Transformative Learning via Improvised Play”. Virtual Workshop (NOT a passive Webinar)

    If you are on the fence or about to write this off… I encourage you to underthink it, just come and see – especially to the FREE taster this Friday morning – just 20mins. Hope to see you there.

    As always, I’m up for a 1:1 Chat! Drop me a line and let’s have a 30min chat on Zoom, or a coffee in person to explore how I might support your work in cultivating connectedness.

    Gratefully,

    David Westerlund
    Executive Coach,
    Designer/Facilitator of Team/Org-wide/Leadership Development Retreats,
    Catalyst of Meaningful and Playful Engagement
    www.DavidWesterlund.com
    david@davidwesterlund.com
     Source: Tint, Barbara (2018). From Hell, No to Yes, And: Applied Improvisation for Training in Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Law. Chapter 10 In Dudeck, Theresa Robbins and Caitlin McClure (Eds.), Applied Improvisation: Leading, Collaborating, and Creating Beyond the Theatre, (p200-201). Bloomsbury Publishing.

  • Cultivating Connectedness and Trust

    Cultivating Connectedness and Trust

    (As I mentioned in my previous newsletter… I’m writing a series on my top three values.. This one on Connection. The next one (in 2 weeks) on Play/Joy… and after that Transformative Learning. All are vital even and especially in our times. … Glad you are here.) 

    I’m at the counter at my favorite coffee shop, aptly named ”The Coffee Shop” owned and run by Hammerhead Roasters here in Bellingham. From where I’m sitting I can see the Community Food Co-op that I frequent, and behind that the Sehome Hill Arboretum – a conifer dense forest with trails that I have ran, hiked, and meandered for the past twenty years. 

    All three of these places, are places of connection for me.

    Connection is life. Disconnection is death. 

    For reals. 

    In 2023 the US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy published an 80-page report entitled, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The US Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community.” Wow!

    In this report’s opening letter Dr. Murthy states, “The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater that that associated with obesity and physical inactivity.”

    Social connection is not just a nice thing to have, it’s vital for our health and well-being – as individuals yes, and for the health and vitality of our organizations and communities.

    Several years back I was at Holden Village Retreat Center and a couple who had worked for the Red Cross in disaster relief were speaking. They told the story of FEMA coming to Joplin, Missouri after the tornado wreaked havoc in 2011. They said FEMA left after two days on the ground. Why? Because the local churches already had a robust network of connection and support. The relational infrastructure of connection and trust was already there that allowed the collaboration and recovery efforts to succeed.

    Understatement of the year: we are in a time of volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity (VUCA). Especially in these times it’s imperative that we intentionally invest in cultivating connectedness in our communities and in our organizations. Yes, for our well-being. And it’s foundational, it’s vital as we need to work together, pivot/improvise, get creative to continue to work that matters.

    COVID accelerated the trend that was already present around isolating more and more. Our ”social distancing” (horrible misnomer), that may have kept us safe in the short run, is the the opposite of what keeps us flourishing and thriving in the long run. 

    In a recent article in The Atlantic entitled ”The Anti-Social Century” the author (Derek Thompson) describes how in the past when we were isolated our bodies told us essentially, ”You need social contact. Reach out.” However, in our current day, we override this signal by jumping on our device which does not give us what we need in terms of true nourishing connections.

    As leaders I believe it’s our responsibility to intentionally invest in and cultivate cultures of connection in our organizations, communities, and our own lives as well.

    Yes this for your team’s well-being. And when you invest in your team’s well-being and connectedness, they stick around. And you have healthier staff. And there less energy spent on drama, because people have had opportunities to see each other’s humanity and connect as whole people.

    And when you’ve invested in connection and trust – in your team and wider life – you find that creativity goes up! Flow state occurrences go up! Energy goes up! True Productivity goes up!

    It’s becoming even more clear that we cannot predict what is going to happen. And, no matter what, we need relationships of trust.

    So where do you begin? Creating a culture of connectedness and trust is an adaptive challenge (vs. technical problem; see Ron Heifitz). 

    I’ll suggest a few questions for reflection to start with:
    1) How would I rate my team/organization/life (Zero is very isolated, siloed, distrustful…. .10 is high connection, high trust)?
    2) What would be made possible if we had greater connectivity and trust? (have fun with this one! Imagine!)
    3) What’s a small yet potent step I could take to cultivate connectedness and trust?

    Secondly, use Liberating Structures to tap into the wisdom in the room and cultivate connectedness.

    Thirdly, drop me a line and let’s have a 30min chat on Zoom, or a coffee in person to explore how I might support your work in cultivating connectedness.

    Gratefully,

    David Westerlund
    Executive Coach,
    Designer/Facilitator of Team/Org-wide/Leadership Development Retreats,
    Catalyst of Meaningful and Playful Engagement
    www.DavidWesterlund.com
    david@davidwesterlund.com

  • Clarifying Your Values

    I’m looking out my office window, smiling as I notice that the fog has lifted and I now have a clear view of the peak of Mount Baker. It’s fascinating to me how Mount Baker can be a point of orientation for those who live here in Bellingham.

    Our values, when clarified, can provide this point of orientation. I mean really, they are already there in your life, we just need to see what’s often too close to notice.

    As I restart my newsletter after a long writing-for-others slumber, I’m inspired to share with you some reflections on my three top values that I’ve clarified and how naming these values has been really helpful for me.

    A couple of years ago I came across Lisa Congdon’s Values Deck. Basically it’s a set of 80-ish cards, with beautiful, colorful art work – each displaying the word, some art, and a brief description of the value (pictured above).

    The process is simple, yet I found it really helpful for me.

    You sort the cards into three piles:

    1) matters a lot to me

    2) matters somewhat to me

    3) doesn’t matter to me

    Then you go through each card one by one (which again because of the presence of the colorful art makes the process quite enjoyable compared to just a plain word on a card) and put each card in one of those three piles. At this point you don’t lay them all out. Just stack in three piles.

    Then you put the second and third pile off to the side, and deal with ”matters a lot to me”. At that point it’s about prioritizing and finding your top 10 values. So you spread those ”matters a lot to me” cards out and shift them around according to what feels right. And then find your top 3 or top 5. KEY: don’t overthink this. Go with your gut. Try to resist the thought that says ”I should value this”.

    Here’s what emerged for me in no particular order.. and here I’ve renamed them slightly to what feels even more aligned.

    1) Connection

    2) Play / Joy

    3) Transformative Learning and Growth

    So it’s no wonder when I notice my energy going way up and I look at what I’m doing. ”Oh I’m facilitating applied improv! And all three of these values are active!”

    Alternatively, I can noticed when I feel drained. In those cases it is common that none of these values are present.

    They have served as good criteria when I’m considering whether I take on  something or not. If at least two out of three values aren’t present, it makes sense that I’m not jumping at the chance to do it.

    These values have a magnetic pull for me.

    And I believe that connection, play/joy, and transformative learning are vital for all of us in these volatile, uncertain, and complex times! 

    What’s interesting is that when we are in a state of toxic fear and threat we:

    1) can play it safe and disconnect.

    2) We can see the world as serious and only serious.

    3) And we can get caught up in re-creating the same world over and over, stuck in status quo, resistant to learning and growth.

    In the coming weeks I’ll be writing reflections on these three values, that make my heart sing, are essential to cultivate in these times, and are foundational to my work with organizations.

    Next issue: Cultivating connection and trust is foundational.

    Gratefully,

    David Westerlund

    Executive Coach,

    Designer/Facilitator of Team/Org-wide/Leadership Development Retreats,

    Catalyst of Meaningful and Playful Engagement

    www.DavidWesterlund.com

    Unlocking Hidden Resources by Facilitating Meaningful And Playful Engagement

    p.s. drop me a line if you wanna have a coffee. I’d love to see what treasures emerge and play as we chat! (In person or on Zoom)

  • Who’s it for? What’s it for?

    I’m cooking up a NEW newsletter for leaders who want to learn, grow, and develop.

    My newsletter is for leaders who want to intentionally learn, grow, and develop (and want the same for the the teams and organizations they lead); for those of you who want to ponder, go deep, and stay playful; for people who realize that our times are inviting us to grow in our ability to step out, lead creatively, and cultivate courage.

    Do you want food for thought and stories to savor? Is this you?

    What’s it for? Think of it as a small restaurant where I’ll serve you dishes — some tried and true; others experimental cooked up from what I’m noticing, learning, and integrating. I’ll serve you soups I’m cooking up from a tasty mélange of ingredients such as:

    • great leadership thinkers and practitioners;
    • applied improv wisdom and play;
    • presence and mindfulness;
    • designing and facilitating for greater engagement and learning;
    • adult development;
    • well-being, wonder, healing, and flourishing;
    • joy, grief, courage, fear, belonging, vulnerability, support, and trust;
    • relationships, compassion, and crucial conversations…
      with the the hope and hunch that you will find nourishment, delight, and inspiration.

    This ongoing feast will be served in the form of:

    • written reflections and musings;
    • links to great podcast episodes;
    • invitations to learning workshops and retreats from me or others I respect and trust.

    And as always, I look forward to being in dialogue with you as to what is emerging in you as you learn, grow, and develop!

    Gratefully,

    David : )

    Executive Coach,
    Designer/Facilitator of Team Development Retreats,
    Catalyst of Meaningful and Playful Engagement

  • Unlocking Your Potential: the Immunity to Change™ approach

    Unlocking Your Potential: the Immunity to Change™ approach

    It’s funny. When I slow down, I feel more calm, centered, grounded, more in tune with myself and others around me. And yet why is it I find myself so often sped up?

    I want to become a better listener, yet why is it not happening?

    Why do we find it hard to actually make the change that we say that we want?

    A big part of this is we aren’t see the problem fully. We imagine it to be a technical problem that just needs a technical fix.

    Need to lose weight? Just eat less! Exercise more! .. And yet something like 90% of people who attempt to lose weight gain 107% of it back.

    What we are up against with these sticky problems are what has been termed ”adaptive challenges”.. They aren’t an easy fix or we would have fixed them a long time ago.

    Even addressing climate change or any of the UN’s Sustainable Development goals – while there may be some pieces that involve technical problems/issues/fixes.. on the whole they are adaptive challenges.*

    The difference is that adaptive challenges require us to adapt, learn, grow, develop and become better versions of our selves.

    According to Harvard’s Ron Heifitz, “The single biggest failure of leadership is treating adaptive challenges like technical problems.” In essence, not seeing the problem correctly.

    Another piece of why we are not seeing the change we want is that we are often trying to solve things alone. We need each other.

    And often we don’t go there together, because we don’t want to risk vulnerability, feel shame, and show others our fears, and ways we are stuck.

    We need safe, supportive containers to explore the hidden fears and beliefs that are keeping us stuck.

    Well here’s some good news. Or at least I think it is… I am facilitating a course (you could call it a learning experience) this October on a process developed by Harvard’s Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey called Immunity to Change™.

    I delight in being very intentional about creating a safe, supportive learning container for participants. This enables openness and learning to go deeper. In addition, I’ve added elements to the course (since running cohort #1 this past May) to support the integration of the learning and enabling the transformation to be sustainable.

    If you are curious, check out the course webpage here,

    NOTE – Super Early Bird rates are good until Sept 9.

    “As an executive coach, I was introduced to Immunity to Change years ago, and it felt interesting but it didn’t really come to life for me in a compelling way. In David’s course, the concepts, tools and practices did finally come to life for me in ways that were both fun and light hearted as well as deep and significant. I highly recommend it!”

    – course participant from May 2022 Cohort

    Notes:

    *The UN has launched Inner Development Goals – as they have realized that the sustainable development goals are actually adaptive challenges… Who do we need to be and become in order to do what we want to do?

  • We become ourselves

    We become ourselves

    We become ourselves in each other’s presence.

    I’m going to say that again and I invite you to

    really slow down and let this sink in…

    We become ourselves

    in each other’s presence.

    What happens then in a world such as ours when we are so sped up that we are not slowing down to be present to each other?

    I dare say – we do not fully become ourselves.

    Earlier this summer I attended the Global Forum on Transforming Self and Society – sponsored by the Presencing Institute (founded in 2006 by Otto Scharmer and colleagues at MIT).

    One of the breakout sessions was called a Compassion Circle. After reading the description I felt drawn to attend. I had such a powerful experience that first time, that I have attended the monthly gathering twice since then.

    Founded by Sergio Michel (from Mexico) and hosted by Bianca Briciu (from Ottawa, Canada) the compassion circle offers participants a space to experience a different way of being for 90 minutes; a different way of being from our often over-analytical, sped-up, not-present-to-each-other mode. (Note – What a gift our analytical minds are, and even our ability to speed up. The problem is when this mode dominates so much of the time. What are we missing out on? (And let’s be honest we are always missing out. COMO = Certainty of Missing Out))

    The group starts with Bianca warmly welcoming everyone – and any new people – to this time and explaining what to expect in our time together. And then she hands it over to someone (this morning it was Alisa from Germany) who leads us in a centering practice, basically helping us to slow down and be present to our breath and body, which then in turn allows us at a much deeper level to be present to each other.

    And then the heart of the compassion circle involves someone sharing a story of something that happened to them that has some emotional salience. This could be sadness, anxiety, or also joy, or ecstasy. As Sergio says, “Paint us a picture of the scene.’’ And we all listen attentively.

    (If you’d like, dear reader, bring to mind what you might share if you were in this circle with us right now.)

    Then the person who just shared their story will ask someone to “offer them a gift of listening.” Let’s say you just shared and then asked me to offer you this gift of listening. I would then simply repeat back to you what I heard from you as I listened with compassion. And then others can offer other things that they noticed, heard, witnessed. It’s that simple. And yet quite powerful. (And just like explaining a dance, this explanation doesn’t do it justice, as much as experiencing it firsthand.)

    How often do we have a space where we can be heard and witnessed without being judged, fixed? How often are you given ample spaciousness to be honest with yourself and your experience, and experience being witnessed? And how often do you get to witness this happen with others? My guess is that for most people it’s all too rare.

    I’m amazed by a couple things. First, how powerful this simple exercise is. This reminds me of a favorite quote of mine from Dr. Gabor Mate. “Safety is not just the absence of a threat, but also the presence of connection.” What we are creating in our circle is a deep visceral sense of safety. And I don’t know about you, but we are living in times where conscious or nonconscious I would easily argue that our sense of safety has been lessened as so many major institutions and our planet are falling apart. So to feel the presence of deep connection is so important. Because when we experience a holistic sense of safety, we are more free to live, grow, dream, imagine, collaborate.

    And secondly, I’m amazed by how time seems to slow down when we get real with each other and are witnessed. This reminds me of a quote I heard from my friend/colleague Bridget Mullins, “There is always time for the conversation we need to have.’’ I have found that when I am NOT doing what is a priority task for me, my body knows it and there is low level stress. When have focused my time and energy to be present to what is truly important to me, I have a sense of spaciousness in time.

    So Why are Compassion Circles important? You may be saying that’s great for you David that you are feeling all these warm fuzzies. But c’mon let’s get practical! We’ve got so many complex issues before us in our world.

    I would argue that this practice – and those similar – are foundational to the work we have before us as we face the crises of our time.

    At least three key things are occurring.

    First, we get connected with ourselves in a fuller way – not just living in our analytical minds, but also bringing our emotional body back online. We are bringing more of our wisdom into the room. Integrating what has likely been fragmented and cut off.

    Secondly, because we are connecting with our fuller, deeper selves and have a safe space for dialogue (and being seen and heard and supported), this enables us to have a much richer fuller connection with each other. We are truly connecting with each other’s humanity.

    And both of these things lay the foundation for any kind of collaboration that is so essential in our times. Gone are the days when we think a lone ranger genius will solve our ills. We need each other; we need collaboration.

    What is made possible when we connect more deeply with ourselves and each other – from places of the heart and mind?

    And how might you offer someone the gift of listening today?

    Furthermore, how might you make a regular practice of offering the gift of listening?

    And finally, how might you create a container of safety where people can regularly open up and be seen and heard? What connectedness might result? And what collaboration might be possible when we are more fully connected?

    Let’s find out.

    p.s.

    Three meaningful learning/development opportunities I’m happy to invite you into

    1 – FREE Workshop – Sept 23 – entitled Let’s Face it Together – designed and facilitated by Bridget Mullins and myself. Register for this Free Workshop HERE

    2 – My Unlocking Your Potential: Immunity to Change™ course is back this October! Super Early Bird ends tomorrow – Friday Sept 9! Find out more and Register HERE.

    3 – If you happen to be local in Bellingham, and are interested in talking about a local compassion circle(s), please contact me at david@bepresentdiscoverjoy.com